Sitting and sitting bye and bye. Haven't even looked you in the eye.
Hey don't worry about me yeah you know I only ever twisted my self around. upside down...wishing I had no frown. That would be true if I knew what to do ........laughing comes in these rhythm's that include you........smile for miles when I think about it............then I step back and think is he thinking Bout something else....does he care what the fuck is going on here with me? i have showed him more ways then one that i love him. maybe i should just go and fuck myself. yeah cause you know i worry about all this stuff and what the fucking hell do i get from it but a big fucking headache
sure thank you I will have a bit of cheese with my wine...red of course.
maybe he doesn't want to because all you ever are is just a pile of nerves, shattered insides and rolls rolls of imagination. clouded by miles of nothing and miles with no understanding..........faster and faster I go and then and then.
I just keep going on and on with this unknowing feeling of disengagement, frustration that can not be cured by wine, men or song....not that I have had the later.....just wine,wine wine.
Well he maybe out in the way side driving in that big thing, I thought he was already !!
what the fuck do I know?
Fucking nothing I hate (bad word) I HATE NOT KNOWING FUCKING HATE IT!
Last we spoke was of strange theories and really all i ever want is to here the words clearly. but they come in a whisper, muffled against the phone. is he ashamed of what we did? does he want to take it back? Or is he drowning himself in other things just to get by? I haven't a clue because I have never been deployed nor will I ever be. I will be here however for him.....I pray he is there for me
Ok it is amazing what little bits of anything can change what you feel. I got pictures today from one of the SGT's and that made it all better for now....still wondering.
ReplyDeleteTwo worlds, two realities, one marriage, one very long distance. Each's world depends on a trust that is beyond our material view, for it has to be strong to withstand the tests of time. Right now you need to focus on you, as he right now needs to focus on himself. You both are in war zones that are demanding and exhausting and one tiny distraction could cause extreem harm.
ReplyDeleteEither one of you please don't allow doubt to enter one's marriage, for in this holy union is the Lord, and the Lord has His watchful eye on you and one him. For in Him is His trust, His Love; if one is married to the Lord then he is your light, and rest in His Peace though each of you be far appart. May your hearts be unified in the Spirit.